I saw you with wings stretched, emerging from a suburban cocoon
with pride in your breath. I recall the times when we were closer than the spaces between atoms
closer than any analogy of distance
and I saw my future through telescopes with your eye at the other end.
All I needed, rather wanted selfishly
was to be asphyxiated by your affection
was to worship you like there was no other deity in existence.
I wanted to be your true north, your cliched yet perfect human being out of the millions you could have chose.
I saw you moving onward
a landscape of riverbeds stood before you
and any treasure hasn’t been truly hunted until caught between your cross-hairs
but hold on
why does this page sound so fabricated,
like a fusion of hallmark wisdom and trite hyperbole?
Did I forget how to do the page justice
or is there even such a thing?
Theoretically I could keep writing my thoughts until these hands grow arthritic
and I still couldn’t type out every feeling you made burst between my temples.
Definitions quantify this attraction as “Hormones and Neurotransmitters”
and my hopeless romantic subconscious yearns to be hill-bound,
howling at waxing moons, scoffing at how your magnetism pulls me beyond the realm of reason.
Is that gibberish to you?
It’s all good.
I need to get this out of me
and if I see you attached to the soul of another,
looking into their irises with a glare I would’ve lost a limb to receive,
I can’t be selfish.
What you deserve is fulfillment
your desire is the blaze I never endured the burns for
yet I thought I had, thought I’d lost epidermal layers.
Yet I face the truth with a defeated voice
and admit I was not enough
I may not ever have been
but that doesn’t mean I gotta sulk at your victories.
March forth.
March with someone better, in all conceivable ways
leave me to my justified regret and shame
and find the love you never thought existed.
